Author: The O’Phalens

Our family has always been what I’d describe as adventurous, but we kicked it up a notch in 2020 when we became a full time travel family.

We were professional theatre people in New York City for over a decade, then both parents made career shifts after starting a family — Kate got her MPA and Dan became a recruiter. The pandemic was difficult, but gave us the precious gift of remote work. Because of the shift to remote work, our family has never been closer and we are able to pursue our dream of becoming a full time travel family.

When we left NYC in 2020, we planned to be away for just the summer on the coast of Maine in a charming and remote coastal village. That summer turned into a year and a half of airbnbs all over the country, which turned into buying and renovating our own RV, which turned into a life as nomads for the foreseeable future!

Lessons we’ve learned as a full time travel family for over three years:

1. Adventure can be found anywhere. Yes, anywhere.

As a New Yorker, I definitely had preconceived notions about what parts of the country were worth a visit. I can say now after three years as a full time travel family and 49 states down, those notions were mostly unfair. I was surprised by how much I loved Tucson and Page, Arizona. I had a ball in Cincinnati and Lexington. And I was delighted by Kansas City. Those places would absolutely never have made it on my travel bucket list, but there was so much to see and learn in all of them. There are adorable local libraries and underappreciated national park sites. There are fantastic tiny restaurants and unique hole-in-the-wall museums (like Haines’ Hammer Museum!).

I know that not every family can become a full time travel family, but I promise that there is fun and adventure to be found wherever you are. Local attractions can be really fun with the right mindset. One of our favorite memories is when we had a spring break staycation in New York and checked off all of the places we’d never been to as if we were tourists in our own town.

If expensive travel isn’t in the cards, what fun things are day trips from your home?

2. Staying at home with kids all day is almost as exhausting as adventuring with them, so you might as well go for it.

This is one of the parenting philosophies I picked up early on, but being a full time travel family has really cemented it. So many families don’t take the trip or visit the museum or find adventure because parenting is so all-consuming and exhausting. I get it. Truly. But I’ve always found that it’s exhausting no matter what you do all day, even if it’s just staying around the house. So you might as well get out and do the fun things! You’ll be exhausted still, but you’ll be fulfilled and satisfied. Plus, the house stays neater when you’re out of it all day. Just saying.

3. Kids may not remember the places you see or the things you do, but they will incorporate it into who they are.

This is one of my best arguments for traveling while kids are too young to remember it. I’ve heard from so many folks that they want to wait and travel when the kids are “old enough,” but truly they are always old enough. Even if they don’t remember the specifics of what you do or where you go, it will be impossible for them to remain unchanged by travel. Kids build resilience and courage and flexibility and empathy by exploring the world and meeting new people. I have watched it happen with my kids, and I promise that it’s the coolest.

4. Reading about something in a book is amazing, but it cannot top experiencing it in person.

I know, I know…Kate is trash talking books?? Never. I love books. So much. We love books more than almost any family I know. Exploring through books is sometimes our only option, and it is a great one.

However, books do have limits. And there are some things that land differently through experiencing them. You can read about the life cycle of a salmon and understand it intellectually. Or you can watch how Alaskan rhythms move with the annual salmon run. See how both people and animals migrate to chase them. Spend hours perfecting your salmon catching technique, and then learn how to clean a fish. You can taste the difference between a pink salmon and a silver salmon. Watch how human made structures block their path upstream. Discover how subsistence living crosses cultures and borders. It hits different, I tell ya.

5. Most of us are so disconnected from the natural world, and finding our way back to it is healing.

I can honestly say that before we became a full time travel family, I could probably identify less than five types of trees. Or birds. Or wildflowers. For parts of our earth that are so necessary and abundant, it’s shocking to me how little attention I paid them. But I think it’s really common.

Now we have probably twenty types of field guides, and we spend a lot of time observing the world around us. My five year old correctly identified a juniper bush all on his own last week just using his books. We notice the small creatures and plants, and we speak to them with care. There’s something so healing about reclaiming the knowledge that we’ve lost through industrialization.

6. It’s scary going way against the grain, but it’s almost always worth it.

We’ve stepped outside of so many social norms to become a full time travel family. We’ve left the school system, we’ve insisted on remote work and created our own jobs, we’ve given up having a “sticks and bricks” house in favor of one on wheels. It takes a lot of courage to live life really differently (especially when kids are involved!).

But wow, has it been worthwhile for us. When people come spend time with us, they are always remarking on how close our kids are, how smart they seem, and how loved you can tell they feel. Not that all of that isn’t possible living a more traditional life, but I always feel validated in our life choices when people notice these things. The proof that our kids are thriving is in the proverbial pudding.

7. You will inspire people just by living unapologetically.

Relatedly, I know our life inspires a lot of people. We didn’t set out to inspire anyone, we just set out to live a life that feels good to us.

But people are always inspired watching others who live life on their own terms. It can be a hard thing to do with the way our world is structured, and it helps others to know that they can do it, too. The more of us who build our own lives, the more people will be inspired to do the same.

8. We are all capable of things we would never have imagined we are.

Listen, we didn’t own a car for a full decade. Living in New York means you just don’t need one most of the time. So for us to go from car-less to driving a super duty truck and towing a 37 foot trailer was a big change. You could say we leaped right out of our comfort zone.

I thought I’d never be comfortable towing our RV, but I really am a champ at it now. I backed it onto a ferry in Alaska this summer! If I can tow our house that’s almost as long as a semi, we’re all capable of more than we know.

9. You will take pieces of every place you visit and every experience you have with you for life.

It’s impossible to be unchanged by the travel you do. My perspective has been shifted by so many places we’ve been to and so many experiences we’ve had.

I never would have expected that I’d come to love Alaska fireweed flowers more than my beloved bodega peonies. I’ve learned to appreciate small towns and the Midwest. Our summer in Alaska inspired me to live off grid and sacrifice long showers for unbelievable views. It surprised me to discover that I find a saguaro cactus and a desert sunset to be incredibly relaxing. Camping on BLM land has made me more passionate about protecting our public land.

I could go on and on about the places and experiences that have shaped my views over the past few years, but my point is this: it sticks with you. And it changes you at the core. And that is an amazing gift.

10. Becoming a full time travel family can be logistically challenging.

Full time travel is absolutely amazing, and it can be incredibly difficult. It’s not for everyone, but for those of you who are considering it, read on!

There are a lot of practical considerations when becoming a full time travel family. How to make an income, what method of travel works best, how to build community on the road, what travel pace will keep everyone from burning out, how to store everything in a small space…

If all of that feels overwhelming, we’re happy to help! You can book a call with us here. Take advantage of everything we’ve learned the slow, hard way 😉

I’m also available to answer quick questions about being a full time travel family on Instagram! Find me at @kateophalen any time.

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