If you’re wondering how I’m talking to my kids about Thanksgiving? The honest answer is that I’m not talking about it all that much. Here’s why:

If you didn’t know already, Thanksgiving is a holiday based on the story of friendship between the colonists and the indigenous people that…isn’t grounded in a whole lot of historical fact. Historical records suggest the feast that this event is supposedly based on wasn’t a big deal and probably looked more like a political negotiation than a friendly shared meal. Here’s a great video intro to this idea.

So what do we do instead?

One option that many indigenous folks are asking of us is to simply not celebrate “Thanksgiving.” Does this mean we can’t gather with our families and have beautiful meals together? Of course not. None of us get enough time together with our extended communities in this modern world, and we should seize hold of long weekends together whenever we can. But make it a harvest feast! Or a gratitude gathering, and consider how gratitude is built into the every day lives of Indigenous cultures.

Perhaps read the Haudenosaunee Kariwatekwen together, which is a giving thanks that takes place before every Haudenosaunee event. It’s gorgeous.

“We give thanks to the stars who are spread across the sky like jewelry. We see them in the night, helping the moon to light the darkness and bringing dew to the gardens and growing things. When we travel at night they guide us home. With our minds gathered together as one we send greetings and thanks to the stars. Now our minds are one.”

Excerpt from Haudenosaunee Kariwatekwen

Poet Laureate and Muskogee Creek Nation member Joy Harjo also has beautiful poem about gathering around a table together that she reads here:

“At this table we sing with joy, with sorrow. We pray of suffering and remorse. We give thanks.

Perhaps the world will end at the kitchen table, while we are laughing and crying, eating of the last sweet bite.”

Excerpt from Perhaps the World Ends Here

My homeschooled kids aren’t being taught about the Thanksgiving myth, and so we have the luxury of (mostly) just ignoring it. We strive to center Indigenous culture, history, and activism all year round in our roadschooling.

But for kids who are in school and learning about Thanksgiving from other sources, I would be actively sharing information that debunks that traditional story. This is an excellent opportunity to learn about the real indigenous people involved in this story and to talk about the modern day struggle for indigenous rights.

So which Indigenous people were at the feast?

First things first, it’s important to understand that Indigenous people are not all the same. There are currently 574 federally recognized tribes in the United States, and there are many more that have not yet received federal recognition. The nation involved in the Thanksgiving story is the Wamponoag of what is now Massachusetts and Rhode Island. The tribe’s website has a suggested self-guided tour itinerary if you’re in the area. Regardless, you may enjoy learning about Cranberry Day. Cranberry Day is held in October and celebrates the cranberry (or sasumuneash) harvest. Perhaps try a cranberry recipe out?

For some Indigenous people, Thanksgiving is a National Day of Mourning:

Thanksgiving day isn’t just a neutral day for some Indigenous people. Many Indigenous people consider it to be a day of mourning. The United American Indians of New England has met on Thanksgiving day every year since 1970 to mourn the genocide of Indigenous peoples and organize to improve modern day Indigenous life. You can watch a livestream of the events on Youtube at noon Eastern Time on Thanksgiving. I highly recommend taking some time to do so. They feature some really wonderful speakers at the event.

What are some resources I can use to learn more as an adult?

As homeschool teachers or any parent who feels responsible for how accurate their kids’ education is, the best thing we can do (in my opinion) is start with educating ourselves. My two absolute favorite books for totally blowing your mind are An Indigenous People’s History of the United States and Braiding Sweetgrass. Both of these have young people’s versions that can be found here and here. I plan on using these heavily in our homeschooling as my kids get slightly older.

This Land is a podcast that gave me so much to think about, too. Tara Houska has some incredible TED Talks that are a digestible listen. I also highly recommend learning about whose land you’re on here and looking up nearby cultural centers to visit. And my last suggestion is to find some Indigenous folks on Instagram to follow and amplify. Here are a few of my favorites: @shinanova, @notoriouscree, @indigenouswomenhike, @indigenizingartsed, @crushingcolonialism, @indigenousmotherhood, @athabascan.adventures.

For parents with kids in public or private school, this post is a great resource for talking to your kid’s school about how Thanksgiving is being taught. There are sample letters to send to the school and everything.

Can you recommend some kid-friendly Thanksgiving resources?

We love the Brains On podcast. They’ve put out an episode debunking the Thanksgiving myth that can be found here: Brains On Podcast Thanksgiving episode.

Consider cooking one of these recipes from Native chefs for your holiday meal this year. The Sioux Chef’s cookbook would make a great holiday gift, too! Spend time with your kiddos learning about the nation the chef is from and how the recipe ingredients are traditional foods for those people.

For further study, we LOVED Kelly Tudor’s (Apache) Outschool class on Indigenous stereotypes. The National Museum of the American Indian also has a unit study resource here.

How I’m talking to my kids about Thanksgiving all year long:

Truthfully, the rest of my resources are applicable all year long. As Zenovia of @BlackAdventureCrew commented on my Indigenous People’s Day reel, every day is Indigenous People’s Day in our house.

Here are some favorite kid books we love:

• We Are Still Here
• We Are Grateful
• Fry Bread
• We Are Water Protectors
• Indigenous Ingenuity
• Notable Native People

We’re also big fans of watching:

• Spirit Rangers
• Molly of Denali
• Gather documentary

There are many modern issues facing Indigenous people that you can search more about and find kid-appropriate videos on. Some examples are: Native water and land usage rights, the expulsion of Indigenous peoples to create National Parks, residential schools, food sovereignty, reclaiming Native culture, underfunded Indian Bureau healthcare, violence against Native women, lack of economic opportunity on reservations, Native adoption rights, the Land Back movement and more. Simply understanding that Indigenous people are still here and still organizing for what is right for their communities is powerful.

Another really simple thing we do is to be sure we always know whose land we’re on as we travel.

If you weave discussions of Indigenous people into your everyday home life, then you don’t have to stress about how to talk about Thanksgiving. When the librarian hands your kids Thanksgiving coloring pages, they’ll feel confident in their knowledge that the true story of this country can’t be sanitized by a friendly harvest meal.

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